Poll Reveals What Women Have Known All Along: Men Hate Christmas Shopping
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I do not think men are from Mars. I think they're from Whoville, where every year they align with the Grinch and band together to ruin Christmas. Each holiday, after thoughtfully deciding on, shopping for, and wrapping the perfect presents for my boyfriend, I can not wait to see what he picked out for me. I breathlessly anticipating tear open the perfect romantic / sentimental gift, and every year I'm sorely disappointed.
I'm not alone.
Do they do it on purpose? Of course not. It's just that men hate the pressure of holiday shopping and would cut off their right arm to avoid it.
It shows.
We women, on the other hand, have high expectations because we put lots of thought into gift-giving. Through the year, we pick up on the little hints he drops and then do our darndest to make sure he has a wonderful holiday filled with everything his desires desires. To women, gifts have hidden meanings, and we try to decode them to understand how our guy feels about us.
To men, buying us gifts is a necessary relationship evil, ranking right up there with attending our mother's birthday party.
If you're a woman over the age of fifteen, you know exactly what I'm taking about. In the name of research, however, I went out in the field and asked random men plus a few guy friends wherever they look forward to shopping for that special something that will thrill their wife or girlfriend, or whether they dread it more than, say , buying tampons.
Read no further if you think there will be surprises. It was unanimous: Men hate holiday shopping. Yes, even more than cruising the feminine products aisle. Yes, even the sweet guys, and, yes, even your man. Here's what they said:
Peter: "I am in the bah humbug category."
Gary: "I hate having to shop for my girlfriend at Christmas. It's way too much pressure and the holiday is too commercialized. I buy her nice things through the year when I see them. something just because society says I have to on a certain day. It's so stupid. "
"I hate shopping, period. I do try to be thought but sometimes I'm more successful than others. Anonymous
Jason: "I enjoy it, but I can say this because I do not really have a girlfriend."
Ron: "The pressure I feel to outdo myself each year gets overwhelming. It's hard to keep being imaginative and thoughtful. Plus, guys like to buy practical things, but women do not seem to appreciate a new toaster for Christmas, even if they desperately need one. "
TJ: I love the shopping for my girlfriend. a few cotton balls (for snowmen), some nice green and red crayon, BAM: instant romantic card.
Mike: "I typically do not like holiday shopping for my wife, but I do not wait until the last minute, but if I do the shopping too early, I always think I've shortchanged her, and end up buying a couple of more presents. "The grand total is always too much (in her opinion, not mine)."
Steve: "After 14 years of marriage I have learned the value of the gift certificate. the kids have. And if they do not, she can not wait to get back to the house so it's like several gifts. Either way, I get time alone.
David: "My wife never tells me what she wants so I usually get her jewelry or a gift certificate or something that she can take back. Sometimes I buy her gloves or something like that and a book and a gift certificate and some jewelry like gold or pearl earrings.
Matt: "Yes, I hate shopping for my wife. Lingerie is returned for something more comfortable. Jewelry is blessed with an eye-roll if it is not diamonds. on birthdays, anniversaries, birth of children, etc. Shopping for the girlfriend, on the other hand, is much more enjoyable. Everything is met with wide eyes and glee. But I'm sure that will end over time also. "
However, this year we have decided to give each other ideas (not necessarily a list) so it should be much easier. , it has been a stressful time. I think that the whole Mars & Venus comes into play. She wants cleaning to be easier … a new shop Vac oughta help. the bill? "
Jim: "I am not crazy about shopping generally but but I do not really mind holiday shopping. something she really really like is tough sometimes, and the fact that I'm a world-class procrastinator does not help things. I try to have some fairly definite ideas about what to get, and then hit the mall early (like 8 : 00 am, usually the Saturday before Christmas) before the crowds arrive. "
Also from Jim: "Cautionary tale about a guy I used to work with: He waited until Christmas Eve to go shopping for his wife, and when he tried to check out he discovered that she had already maxed out all their credit cards! Having no cash, he came home empty handed. He was in the maison-de-pooch for quite a while. "
Dan: "My friend and I shop for our wives together every December 24. First, we hit a few bars. size, and go back to drinking. Our wives get pretty pissed when they get the same outfit.
Ben: "I always intend to get a thoughtful, wonderful gift, not always expensive but thoughtful. my window and end up with a turd of a gift. I am always aware of the gift being a torn or not. you expect? ' We are aware however. "
See what I mean? Young and old, sweet and not-so-much, married and unmarried, men are all alike when it comes to Christmas shopping for women. As my friend's wise mother put it, "Lamb, they are all the same." Indeed.
Girls' Survival Strategy
So what's a girl to do? Much as we hate it, the best way to get exactly what we want is to spell it out, leaving no stone unturned. Give him specifics: List the URL or store location, price, color, size and SKU. This strategy ruins the surprise, sure, but at least you will not end up with a leather thong or a CD of heavy metal monster ballads.
Another option is to have a good friend call your man and say, "Hey, if you're stuck about what to get your wife / girlfriend this Christmas, we were shopping last week and she mentioned she'd love to have X. Thought you'd want to know. "
Or, do as my friend Annie does and buy things for yourself, have them gift-wrapped, ship them to your home, and send him the bill.
The last option is to do what I do: Hope and pray that this year will finally be different and that he'll spend a lot of time and effort searching for the perfect present that will show how wild he is about me and how well he really knows the inner me.
With expectations like that, it's no wonder I'm always bawling on Christmas morning.
Pointers for Men
For men with women who refuse to tell them what they want (and yes, darling boyfriend, if you're reading this it applies to you too), there are a few staples that make most women happy. They are: a beautiful full-length coat (hint: if she's a vegan, skip the fur and leather), diamond or pearl jewelry, tickets to an island getaway or a gift certificate to her favorite clothing store.
My best advice, much as men hate it, is to pay attention to her comments throughout the year. Has she mentioned a trendy restaurant she wants to try? Make reservations and stick a note in her stocking. Does she love Oprah? How about the TV host's 20th anniversary DVD collection? Is she into jewelry? Freshwater cultured pearls are affordable and lovely; lavender freshwater cultured pearls are trendy and hot right now. As always, Tiffany & Co. jewelry will make her day, but if you're short on cash, get her a few books on subjects she's into (the thought will melt her) or burn her a mix CD of songs that remind you of her. I would not attempt making her a homemade card, though, unless you're planning on tucking tickets to St. Petersburg. Baarts inside.
One final thought: If you want to have a merry Christmas, avoid giving her the following gifts AT ALL COST:
o Kitchen appliances, including, but not limited to
o mixers
o blenders
o toasters
o microwaves
o exception: High-end coffee maker
o Tools (she knows you just want to borrow them)
o Sheetrock (my friend did actually get this one year)
o Weight-loss books, tapes, magazines, gadgets, etc. Do not even GO there, mister!
o TVs (another gift that's a thinly-disguised present for you)
o Puppies (c'mon, everyone wants to pick their own dog, and who wants to train one during a holiday)
o Sports tickets (like you, we claim to love stuff we hate just to make you happy)
o Gift certificate for a makeover (obvious, obvious mistake)
Good luck, guys. Try to stay out of the doghouse this year.
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