The Name Game

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Ever watch a marathon in person? It's pretty thrilling for runners and non-runners alike to see all those people laying it on the line in pursuit of a special goal or achievement. I've always found it very inspiring to watch. Many marathon runners write their names on their t-shirts. Why, you ask, would they deface an article of clothing with a magic marker? Hmmm! I should ask my children the same exact question!

The reason runners personalize their race day clothing is so strangers in the crowd will cheer for them and call out their names. Many running publications suggest this as a way to enjoy their race day experience. I once, as a runner myself, ran along many people who decorated their clothing this way. They seemed to feed off the energy coming from the crowds. Many times I observed how the simple sound of hearing their name would motivate tired runners as they battled their way towards the finish line. It's really not surprising that Dale Carnegie (1936), the author of the legendary book How to Win Friends and Influence People, was known to say, "The greatest sound in the English language is the sound of your own name!"

If our goal in business is to obtain repeat and referral customers and customer loyalty, then crossing the finish line with our associates is a must. There are many costs associated with employing a full staff of people. Some elements of employee compensation are cost: insurance, 401K plans, and training, to name a few. Conversely, some intangible benefits are quite economic. One of them is completely free! It's stimulating, inspiring and works wonders for moral. What is the magical benefit? Learning and knowing your associates names! Recognizing their faces and knowing little things about them! Nothing is easier, cheaper, and potentially more rewarding to associates than a supervisor who knows their names and uses those names at every opportunity.

Here are some ways to remember people's names.

• Make a concerted effort – remember people's names.

I used to have trouble remembering names because I simply did not try hard enough. Making a concerted effort is half the battle. You get back what you put in , just as our parents taught us. Does that sound familiar? Be interested! Take the time. Often, we do not get the name of the other person when meeting them because we're focused on ourselves and not on the person we are meeting. Further, our minds wander because we assume we're going to forget their name anyway. Have you ever been in the following situation? In rapid fire succession, you're introduced to five people – maybe a group of new-hires at your company. You hurriedly repeat, "Nice to meet you," again and again, knowing all too well you're not going to remember any of the names! According to an article in CareerBuilder.com (July 22, 2005), "The first, and most important step, is to pay attention when you're being introduced."

• Observe details – notice something about the new person.

Look the other person straight in the eye. See their face. Pick out something unique. Make it a practice to learn something different about their facial structure or their voice or anything unique about them. If you look closely at people you can easily detect special characteristics that will help you remember them. According to Tony Buzan (1991), author of Use your Perfect Memory , "If you can sharpen your observational powers, you will have made a giant step toward the improvement of your memory. major causes for poor memory. "

• Repeat the name – force the name into your memory.

After you hear a name, call that person by his or her name several times so it goes into your long term memory. Each time you repeat the name you will have a better chance of remembering it down the road. Politely ask to have the name repeated if you do not think you heard it right the first time. Ask to have it spelled. Verify the pronunciation. Ask the origin of the name. If the name sounds foreign, ask where he or she is from. The added by-product of these questions is that you're expressing interest, which helps develop bonds. Remember the following: A thought that I echo over and over. All things considered, people would rather do business with a friend. Make friends by remembering names.

• Associate the name – connect with someone or something noteworthy.

Many memory experts suggest that if you associate someone's name with someone famous, then you will have a better chance of remembering his or her name. A friend attended a presentation recently and recounted an extraordinary story to me. The speaker stood at the door to the room and welcomed each of the 50+ attendees into the room. A few minutes later, he went around the room and addressed everyone by name! Wow! His trick was to immediately think of somebody famous as he was shaking their hand. For me, perhaps he would have envisioned Darryl Dawkins, the former NBA superstar most noted for shattering backboards with thunderous dunks. (An odd thought, to say the least, as I'm all of 5 foot 8 inches tall The only thing I dunk is a donut!)

Sometimes, the results are not so rewarding! While recently discussing this subject with a prominent business owner, he recounted the following story. His friend used the "association" tactic to remember names. While cultivating a new contact, he associated the potential client's name with the iconic Chicago hotel, The Conrad Hilton . For several weeks, he addressed the person as Hilton , only to be promptly corrected by the gentleman – whose name was Conrad ! Be careful and use at your own risk.

• Show your cards – admit it if you can not remember someone's name.

Do not wing it! A few months ago I was dining in a local restaurant. Someone stopped by my table and mentioned that I had spoken at his company. "Oh yeah, I remember you, Tom!" Wrong !! That was not his name. I was embarrassed and he was probably more embarrassed. The young guy had taken a moment to say "Hello" and I guessed his name. I thought I remembered, but I guessed wrong. He was with his wife. I felt badly and apologized profusely, but the damage was done.

If you do not know someone's name, fess up and move on. Be honest. Be real. Your contacts and associates will be a lot more forgiving if you actually say something like, "Your name escapes me at the moment," or "I'm great with faces but lousy with names!" than if you try to bluff your way through an uncomfortable encounter.

• Use the name – repeat, instead of just nodding and smiling.

Use names in passing and on the phone. When passing your associate in the hallway, instead simply saying, "Hello," say "Hello, Tom!" The result: They will feel good and their name will be reinforced in your mind. Not too often, though. Using someone's name too often in face-to-face conversation seems a bit calculating; however, when speaking on the phone, sprinkle your conversation with your partner's name. Remember that the phone affords us much less intimacy than a face-to-face conversation. We do not see facial expressions and other gestures that help us converse. Actions that help us understand each other's meaningings.

According to Leil Lowndes (1999), author of Talking the Winners Way , "People perk up when they hear their own name." It also helps keep people focused on the conversation. Have you ever been walking down a city street (with all its wonderful noises) and heard your name called out? Happens to all of us. No matter what the distraction, and how noisy our surroundings are, we seem to magically hear and respond to our own name. To use the words of the author above, it's like yanking us back into the conversation. It commands attention!

The ability to remember names is essential in both business and social situations. It builds instant rapport and friendship, and it does not cost a penny. With your associates, very few acts convey more respect or are as flattering. Do you have a special memory of someone unexpectedly adding you with your name? Maybe it was the boss on your first job? How did it feel? Did you have a little more kick in your step the rest of the day? Did it make you smile? Treat your associates to that same feeling.

In an era where personal communication has become more and more important, the ability to remember and use people's names is a valuable skill in both business and personal situations. Think about it this way. If we expect our associates to remember our customers' names, then we should take the time and effort to remember their names. Reaching the finish line with our associates requires that we make the little things count, and that we understand that our associates have names, dreams, interests, goals and children, just like we do. To be sure, life is a complex equation; however, there is one thing that makes us each unique – our name. Use your associates' names freely. Just do not shout, "GO TOM, the finish is just up ahead.!" while on the way to the copy machine. We do not need Tom sprinting around the office.